Don't Let Me Drown

It's 3 days until "D" day for the book release and I'm starting to stress. I told myself 6 weeks ago that I wouldn't be this stressed out person but I have become her. I planned things out far ahead and got things done early. I didn't want any of my friends to have to do work this weekend. I wanted everything perfect so that they could just enjoy. I wanted to make sure I made time to tutor my student this week because I knew the weekend would be hectic. I have a very demanding job and I wanted to make sure I served everyone with my best and brightest smile no matter what was going on, or how little time I had to actually do all the things I said yes too. But despite my planning and all I wanted to accomplish this week there have been some bumps. Traffic is a beast and unpredictable so my timing has been off and I've been late to more than a few appointments. My car stalled and I had to buy a new battery for it this week. What I thought would be an easy Martha Stewart chalkboard sign project as a prop for the release is turning into a full on art fair (My level of artistic ability is minimal lol). The amount of things I have to do at work exceeds the amount of time I need to do them. I had to push back the release of a big project at work. I have to schedule airport pickups, house cleaning, and car registration. It's been a lot going on this week and I still kept telling myself "No worries. No stress." But this morning on my 60 minute ride to work I was noticing how my thoughts were jumping to all the things on my to do list. My heart started beating faster. I was making myself a mental martyr. My eyes have been heavy all week and at any moment I feel like the water works will begin. Problem is ... I have nothing to cry about. Absolutely nothing. Yes... I'm busy. Yes... I may have bitten off more than I can chew this week, but a lot of that was my own doing. Regardless, I realize that if I stop saying "yes" to serving everyone, I can give God the chance to let someone else help me. I keep poring out and I am only one human being with the same 24 hours everyone else has. Thankfully God has kept me and some times it seems like He is literally stretching time to help me get things done. But what I really think He wants me to do, in order to help me get over these waves, is ask someone to bring me some floaties because my arms are giving out and I've reduced my swimming to a doggy paddle. The more I try doing this on my own the more the ocean waters start running in my eyes. And when the ocean waters run in my eyes I start to lose sight of God. The Lord has called me out upon the waters, but His sovereign hand will be my guide.

"In oceans deep my faith will stand. I will call upon His name and keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in His embrace . I am His. He is mine."