I'm Getting Out!

A year ago, I sat in a board room with 6 white males and 2 white females. I was the youngest by at least 10 years, the darkest by at least 6 shades, and the shortest by at least 5 inches. I was also the lowest paid by at least $20,000. Some people in the room held my exact same position, others held my same level laterally, and at least 4 were vice presidents. This was the normal for my last 2 years in corporate America. I had to fight for the title that associated with the high-level work I was doing. I had to speak up to be recognized for my work when the people above me took credit for my ideas. Crazy, I thought that getting a seat at the table meant something until I got to the table and realized how stranded and bound I felt to be the only black person in the room. To see people, my sisters and brothers, still left outside the door. To see myself praised for my ideas, but not given the pay that the others in the room received. Getting a seat at the table means nothing if you can’t afford the food on the master’s plate.

Today, I sit at another table. There are 6 white males, 2 white women, and 2 black women. In this room, I’m still the darkest and I’ll probably always be the shortest. But this isn’t a board room, it’s a classroom. There are still demographic tensions, ideological debates, and I’ll always feel like I must work 10 times harder than some of my counterparts to garner the same respect, but there is one big difference between that corporate boardroom and this doctorate student classroom.

In the classroom, I own my intellectual property.

After watching the movie Get Out, I finally feel like I can somewhat transparently reveal my own struggles with feeling like a black commodity, an object for the master’s use. In my case, I always felt like my mind was being exploited for others gain. When I left my corporate job after 3 promotions in just 4 years, it was because I needed my mind to be free. I wanted full ownership of my intellectual property and complete rights to its use and reuse. I got tired of bosses talking like I was “theirs” or selling me to the department or project that negotiated to have me on their team. I declared, I was not for sale.

You too may feel the same way at times…sold to the highest bidder for your innovation, ideas, creativity, physicality, or dependability. You don’t have to quit your job to “Get Out” though. “Getting Out” is more a state of consciousness than a physical location. And no matter where you go, a corporate boardroom, classroom, basketball court, dance studio, kitchen, or home office, there will always be a struggle for your talents. These are the ways that I use my faith to keep me out of the “Sunken Place”.

1. Where’s the humble pie?

“Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” – Romans 12:3 NLT

Whenever I’m feeling like someone else is getting what I deserve or I am not getting credit for my work, I have to take a big slice of humble pie. I have made it a habit to always reflect on whether I am thinking of myself too highly.

But how do you know? Well ask yourself, what makes you more deserving for that spot than the other person? What gives you the right to anything that God has not given you? Humbling yourself isn’t about trying to make yourself feel bad, weak or inadequate. Humbleness is saying I deserve nothing more or less than anyone else because I am a sinner saved by grace just like the next person. Any position I have comes from the Lord alone. If it was meant for me, it would have been mine. I solidify in my heart that to be great, I have to think of other people more greatly than I think of myself. I must find the greatness and excellence in every person – white men included. I must detect the things in them that I can learn from because they too are my brothers. When you stop being humble, you block your chances to learn and grow.

2. Who am I serving?

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” - Colossians 3:23-24 NLT

The next thing I have learned to do as a habit is consider who I am serving. When I feel like I am being used for my gifts and talents, I ask myself who is doing the using? All my gift and talents were given to me by God. Therefore, my work is not to human beings, but to God alone. I work hard and give my all because I serve a God that gave me His all. If God has me using my gifts at work for other people, it’s His way of sharing His love and blessings to the world through me. I was born to serve. The day I forget that is the day I forget whose I am.

3. Where do I belong?

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” - Psalms 37:23-24

God declares that I am the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. I will never go into the “Sunken Place” as long as I am reminded where I belong. Due to my relationship with Jesus Christ, I know my worth in Him. When I am obedient to His call, loving God and people with all that is within me, I know that He will lead me to the locations where He wants me.

When I ask, “where do I belong?” I make a point to confirm with God whether this job, this situation, project, or task is the place He wants me to be. If He wants me there, I stay. As long as I am in the ordained spot He called me too, I know no harm will ever come to me that He cannot deliver me out of. I am protected and shielded and when the time is right He will lift me up. I put my full faith and trust into Him and Him alone.

Notice in Get Out that it was only in the moments where Chris put his trust in other people that he landed in the “Sunken Place”. When he relaxed in the mom’s therapy chair he put all his trust into her. When he told his girlfriend, “you’re all I have”, he put all his trust into her. To stay out of the “Sunken Place” we must remember who all our trust belongs to. I trust God with my whole life because unlike this world that tries to auction me off, God already purchased me for the greatest price --- the life of His son. Christ ransomed His life to buy mine and I can never be sold again. I don’t have to “Get Out” because I’m already sold out.